"In a few months you'll drive by a building and you won't think 'yellow building', you'll think 'Cadmium yellow'," Amy said to me. "You'll look at something on Instagram and think, 'I wonder how they did that?' and then you'll try to figure out how to do it …
WHY DID THE PRINCIPAL CROSS THE ROAD?
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PARKING! DO NOT PARK DOWNTOWN! WE HAVE PLENTY OF SPACES FOR YOU! THOSE SPACES ARE AT THE CARMEL FOOTBALL STADIUM! DO PARK HERE: DO NOT PARK HERE: *sound of crosswalk button being pushed* "I love this place." If you watch this video you'll …
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Lego my Spaceship
"There are actually a high percentage of wholesale orders that come in off of your consumer emails." "Really?" "I'd say, this year it's probably 80% but we'll run the numbers." "Really?!?!" "Yeah. And I'm pretty sure I know why." Part of this conversation made me understand …
No pictures, please!
"No Photos" "No Videos" (They're moving locations and currently closed, so I snapped that pic through the window one night while walking to my car after EATING SOMEWHERE ELSE.) Ok, so first of all, I don't like that sign because it feels like I'm getting yelled at the second I …
Millennials also killed sea glass
Some things can happen concurrently. Walking and listening to a podcast. Weeding and talking to my Mom. Stirring a pot of caramelizing onions and doomscrolling. But some can't. Driving and putting on mascara. Knitting and swimming. Running and …
In the checkout line
"Betty Crocker," our favorite fictional baker, debuted in 1947 as other companies jumped on the boxed cake bandwagon. Sales went up, up, up until. . . they didn't. General Mills, a producer of boxed mixes, hired psychologist Ernest Dichter to determine why sales …
Real or not real?
Envoy Air is a regional carrier for American Airlines, part of American Eagle. I clicked to read the comments. "The least they could have done was use a video of an ERJ-175 or something. AE doesn't fly A321s." It's kind of like this picture: I made that picture in …
Champagne Problems and Trader Joe’s Dreams
"I uh have a message saying 'Please call your parents.'" REALLY NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR AT THE AIRPORT 971 MILES FROM HOME. This was (thinks back to my halloween costume when I dressed up as Tigress Woods - before Tiger's, uh, life situations came to life and back when I was still a …
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I forced a bot to watch 1,000 hours of zoom meetings…
But I'm definitely not suffering from an over-abundance of leisure time. Recent events (Here's an example: New York Times Headline on Monday: Alarmed by A.I. Chatbots, Universities Start Revamping How They Teach) caused me to remember that odd conversation with …
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What, like it’s hard?
I DON'T KNOW, DAD. I GUESS SO BUT THEN HERE'S THE THING AFTER YOU PAY THE MONEY AND THEN YOU GET AN APPOINTMENT YOU HAVE TO CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE AND WE WORK FULL TIME AND THEN THERE ARE THE DOGS. AND WE'RE TRYING TO GET READY FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND LAST WEEK I JUST HAD A FLAT TIRE AND …
