I used to be the pursuer.
For years and years if I found someone I wanted to date, I went after him. I never EVER let anyone come to me of his own volition.
This is not a new “rules” book for women. Don’t freak out.
I met my husband on Match.com in 2003, the Dark Ages of internet dating. It was super weird to online date way back then. I still don’t know if my in-laws realize this is how we met.
I tried meeting people the old-fashioned way, but I was living in Vermont with an hour commute each way to my job in a tiny town one state over. I needed help.
Only when I signed up for Match, I gave myself a rule: I put up a profile about myself and identified what I was looking for and I let my potential matches come to me. I didn’t chase them.
In fact, I looked at my future husband’s profile and thought, “Oh I like what he has to say. But I’m probably not smart enough for him.” Well, one day after a particularly fraught, “I’m so lonely” conversation with my parents, I checked my email and my future husband had emailed me. And here we are, 15 years in, going strong.
Yesterday I got notice that I hadn’t been selected as the provider for a project. I’d been working on and off with the client for almost a year, answering questions, going over processes, and explaining how the project would work and about how much it would cost. I was thorough. I was prompt in reply. I covered every single eventuality that could happen. The client reiterated that in the email to me letting me know they were going with a different provider and why.
Probably I should have felt upset, but I actually feel like things worked out the way they were supposed to.
I was recommended to them. I answered all of their questions. I produced reams of information. I did a mini paid project where I got some printing quotes. We exhaustively discussed every step we would complete, what the outcome would be, my general “I’ll set myself on fire to keep your project going”method of operation.
In the end, the client wasn’t convinced that I was the right person for the job.
And that’s OK.
At this point, I want to work with people who are excited to work with me.Who engage me believing that I can make their lives and their businesses better.
I put out there what I have to offer, like I did on Match.com, and after a little back and forth, someone either thinks I’ll be a good fit to help them reach their goals or they don’t.
If I spend all of my time convincing someone that what I have to offer is the best thing since sliced bread, so they elect to work with me but they don’t really believe that I can help them (or feel forced into it), they won’t be happy and I won’t either.
On that note, let’s talk about emails, like this one. Email marketing has a bad name with some people. Here’s the deal though: when you use email well in your business you can grow your bottom line tremendously. Stats from every digital marketing research group back that up. (And if your email program doesn’t grow your business, you’re doing it wrong.)
However, people can’t decide they want what you have to offer unless you offer them something — information, a deal, a list of your services, basically any way you can help them improve their lives somehow.
Email is a really good way to let the right people, the people who want to hear from you, learn about what you can to for them. (Because the people on your list gave you permission to email them.)
The people who don’t want to hear from you. . . let ’em be. Only email to people who give you permission and let anyone who wants off your list unsubscribe.
It’s all about matching your services to the right people who need them and want them. (Check out my first bookmark for more about that.)
Bookmarks of the Week
Free masterclass about turning your knowledge into an online course.
(Happening this Friday & hosted by my business coach who is AWE. SOME. She talks about how you can figure out what it is that you have to offer people to improve their lives and then how to monetize it. That is an affiliate link, so if you end up taking her larger course, I get a commission. However, her masterclasses are worth the time, so I recommend the masterclass to everyone when she offers it. You can just click off near the end if you want.)
Quick and Dirty Photo Help
White Balance and Photo Processing
How Users Read on the Web
(Thanks to my friend Jenn for sending this link!)
Have a great rest of your week!
P.S. I hope you’re finding my stories and links to be helpful and inspiring. I really enjoy your letters back to me and I answer every one of them. If, however, you’d rather not keep receiving my emails, please go ahead and unsubscribe. No hard feelings!